She once knew the meaning of success. Her needs; desires and those who deserted her grand plan. She was one of those people who expected the world to fall at her feet. Until her world fell. 

She once knew the meaning of performance. How every new day was a new show, a new presentation. That to show up meant to give one-hundred and eighty-eight percent every second of every day, and leaving the remaining one-thousand and twelve percent for her mind to siphon through the words that fell out of the mouths of others. Words that would blow her apart. 

She thought she knew how it all worked. Each minute detail was pre-planned, pre-figured; every movement and nuance rehearsed. It was as if they all followed her demands, nothing ever surprised her. 

Until she exploded. Her remains were gathered together like discarded clothes and placed in a bag. She was carried to the nearest drop-off and placed into the care of the charity organisations. She was picked apart, cleansed, and any old bits that no longer served the needs of the many were placed into the fire.  

She now knows the meaning of failure. Her memories clouded; her desires child-like and those who care for her, slip her the same tasteless sweets her mother did. Expectation is now a word she struggles to pronounce. Her mind has fallen to the world. 

Zac is a UK based writer and award-winning actor, as well as published poet and playwright. His work has been produced in festivals and fringes. His current project is about kindness and the mental health system. Zac has previously written about his struggle living with bi-polar and sensitivity.